Friday, March 28, 2014

The Journey...

This space of mine has been neglected for some time now. Life got full and I stepped away. In the past 1.5 years our dreams came alive. We are now proud parents of the most beautiful, fun, & charming 10 month old, Francis Edwin (aka Frankie) & have been slow but steadily  progressing on our home renovation.
I need to come here again. I need to be able to pour my heart out in hopes that you will listen, support, & journey with me.  Maybe there is a chance that our story could help or inspire someone else too but mainly I am here to share the journey. You see for the past 6 months this proud mama & dada have been fighting for our sweet Frankie. I will share the complete story & symptoms with you in an upcoming post but for now here's the short of it. Frankie has severe food allergies/sensitivities. He also has severe eczema. Never again will I think of these things as no big deal and just a rash. It's down right  debilitating & heart wrenching to watch your child suffer & struggle each day. For those of you who know Frankie you may never know the struggle. This angel of mine is vibrant & happy  mainly considering his day to day. He is strong. He is a trooper.  Since about 4 months we have been through several dr's, specialist, holistic practitioners ect. We aren't there yet...we don't have the puzzle  completed...there is a piece missing. One thing about me, good or bad, I'm not sure...I will not stop at anything until I figure this out. I'm stubborn like that. I know too much to just except its "allergies" or "eczema". I will not put the blinders on and band aid the issue at hand. We heal from the inside out. We WILL journey & we WILL get there together. Day by day, step by step, piece by piece.

In the mean time...I've had my share of break downs & feeling defeated. To not be able to comfort the pain of your child I'm convinced is the worst feeling ever. I've had feelings of this being my fault which I know is totally irrational but also a mothers guilt. I've let many friendships go to the back burner (sorry) simply because 1. Many don't understand this journey. 2. My time is all accounted for. There are those friends that you don't have to speak a word but you just know they are there to love & support...not judge. That's exactly what I need.  I've had my nose burrried in books & articles searching high & low.  This is me...I need information.   A girlfriend of mine said God always gives these tasks to his best soldiers. I do believe that to my core. There is a reason we are being led down this path. My first line of defense is endless amounts of love & prayer.

I hear a hungry baby boy calling my back soon to share more of our journey towards healing! Goodnight!

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